Truths I already know
On New Years Day, we departed West Virginia for Minnesota. Our friends live there and they offered to watch our dog, so a road trip made the most sense. We drove both of our vehicles, with one child in each of them. We made the 18-hour drive in two days. Our road trips are made much more exciting because we communicate through our walkie talkies. This allows us to feel as though we are in the same car together. We got the opportunity to pass through Chicago. We ate Chicago-style pizza, which tasted MUCH different than we had expected. The dough is unlike any pizza dough I’ve ever had. It’s like a pie crust. Flaky on the outside, with layers overlapping each other. But doughy on the inside. It was a triumph. It takes 45 minutes to cook the deep dish pizza, so while we waited, we drove to White Castle and sampled tiny, crispy little burgers. Those were also fabulous.
It was exciting, and freaky, to watch the temperature drop as we approached Minnesota. I think the weather was somewhere in the -15 degrees Fahrenheit range when we woke up the next morning. Quite a shock coming from West Virginia. Within a few days, we found ourselves on a frozen lake. Our friends have an ice castle, which is essentially a small camper that gets pulled behind a truck and gently lowered onto the ice. You can pull up the floor, ice fish in the warmth of the ice castle while watching TV on your bed. It was the craziest thing I’ve experienced in a long time. Funny to think about how something so normal for some people is absolutely wild for others.
The day before we were leaving Minnesota, I was in a panic . The fears weren’t really at the forefront of my mind, or I wasn’t allowing myself to access the thoughts I was having. The idea to travel the world was just an idea less than a year ago. How did we get here so quickly? Even in Minnesota, I was deciding what would come with me, and what would go, parsing down even more nonessential items. I felt strongly about bringing a beach bag and beach blanket, but Bert was opposed to this idea. Not taking no for an answer, my friend Becky stuffed my actual purse into the beach bag, along with the beach blanket, and the problem was solved! We stared at Bert in defiance and indignance, and onto the plane it ultimately went!
The rest kind of felt like I was going through the motions. Surreal, robotic actions got me to New Zealand. I did my best to remain in the moment, but it was a lot to take in initially.
Three days after arriving to New Zealand, I was sitting on the beach, enjoying the sun, remembering a few truths that I already knew, but had had to be reminded of.
The first step is sometimes the hardest.
There were MANY times during this process I could have given up, which is weird to say because I don’t give up easily. Packing the house is a perfect example of how I would have very much liked to give up. I would go from room to room, staring at how much still needed to be attended to. I’d try to make progress on a pile of stuff, and then feel overwhelmed or bored, and then move onto something else. Or nothing else. Bert helped me so much to stay focused. Sometimes he’d physically escort me back to the place that needed my attention, or he’d sort through stuff in the same room so we could just be in the same space together.
As I mentioned before, we cleaned out our home, and we also cleaned out my office. I found myself pacing around, trying to determine what was mine, what was the nonprofit’s belongings, and what could be donated, sold, or stored. After days of this, my anxiety about all of it was becoming difficult to manage. At one point he lovingly said, “Get out of here and go get your nails done.” He escorted me next door to the nail salon and by the time my nails were dry, my office was cleaned out.
These days were some of the hardest, and having his support allowed this to happen.
Sometimes to get past something, you gotta go through it.
I knew this rule, too. Bert and I are both believers that you can’t really take short-cuts in life. It pays off to go through adversity, and sometimes it’s gotta suck worse before it can get better. Being optimistic that “better” was on the other side of “suck” was a motivating factor at different times for both of us.
I’m reading a book that I recommended to my clients last year, but haven’t actually read myself. This goes against my general philosophy of not making recommendations without having experienced the recommendation myself, but my lack of time and preoccupation with other things has prevented me from doing a lot these past few years….so I’m finally getting around to reading it now. It feels good to wake up early, sit on the beach, and watch the world go by. There are dogs on this beach and I’m missing Iris, but I’m enjoying my time here to reflect.
So far the kiwis we have met have been inquisitive, friendly, curious, and funny. Everyone is very laid back. We went to a restaurant with a playground area attached and the kids were so free. I’ve never seen anything like it. Barefoot kids climbed all over the equipment, on top of the slide and up the tree. They jumped and wrestled each other, and ran through the outdoor dining area while the adults didn’t even bother to look up. No one seemed to be bothered by the kids’ expression of play. It was awesome to see, and I was grateful my kids could experience such acceptance by the community we were in.
These pictures show my boys on a structure NEXT TO the play equipment. This area probably wasn’t meant for kids to climb on, but when my boys saw others climbing high and jumping off, that was enough permission for them to indulge, too. Cameron began climbing on the fence behind the structure, pulling on the branches of the forgiving tree. This ultimately resulted in a staff member very kindly walking over and asking him to stop, before she returned to work, unfazed by the kids being kids in public.